The after effects

Today I spent all day in a van riding across the country. Not really but it felt like it. This time when I traveled down south was like the only time I really didn't want to be there. It was odd. Down there is like my home that I can relax more in. I couldn't relax and I couldn't sleep. Normal people would think that since I went down there for a burial that would be the reason why, but I've went down there for that type of stuff plenty of times and I've never felt like this. I liked being down there and yet I didn't and that was the first time I EVER did not want to be traveling in the slightest. Eh.... I feel as if I'm losing myself. And not in a I don't know who I am kind of way but more of a losing control type of thing. I'm wondering is this normal. I think it is because it doesn't seem like a big thing and it doesn't scare me. It kinda excites me a little bit. Odd. Hm.. I wanted to make this post more general and in me thinking i found out just how. I was going to almost kind of rant about some other stupid act this government has committed, but I stopped myself saying that I don't want to talk about it since all I'd do is rant forever and nothing happens. Then the thought came to me that, that might be why people don't let themselves care for things. Well not exactly not let themselves care but not do anything about it. To me it seems like alot of people don't know what to do to change something that they don't like. And if they do alot of people that I'm around don't think that what they do with really matter or change things. Though I know that it actually can I still can't help, but think that way as well. It makes me wonder if things were set up to make us think that particular way. I know the government does things exactly as the do to send messages that we don't really catch on to. We only subconsciously get it. That's only part of it though. I've been in alot of different programs and one that I've learned alot from is the program EOTO(each one teach one)
There I found some....stuff. Like a 14 year old on trial doesn't need a parent to make a life changing choice. They also have abandoned jails upstate that they won't close down because they're in republican areas and republicans work there so if they close down the jails the republicans wont have a job. When we went to Albany I was ready to tell them to just close down the place and send them a check to their house kuz it'd be easier and save alot of money, but sadly I couldn't say it. They spend so much money on stupidness. And its not like I can't say this without proof. The guys in Albany even said that was basically why. We did all that and nothing changed. I understand just because u ask for something doesn't mean its gonna happen, but still. That just put me in a whatever mood and reminded me all over again the main reason why I don't deal with anything political. They're all stupid... Wait I take that back. The ones that make the main decisions are stupid assholes who look out for their ppl(republicans) And with that I end. I winded up ranting anyway SmDh@myself
~We're still at war~
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