Hunter

4:15

That's the time I got my ass in the house this morning. Yes yes I know that's way past when I was supposed to be home, but hell! When is the last time I've been to a Hunter party. It was good to see everybody again. Really good. I felt... missed and seen. I'd always considered them some type of family. Odd and goofy, but family none the less. I loved having to hide behind random people from friends who yelled my name right before they called me a bitch and other such names only to hug me tightly and tell me they miss me and yell at me when they ask me where I'd been.

It was nice to know that people noticed your absence. Even the cute girl who you never even knew she knew your name. But she did. And she yelled it... Loudly. And then hugged me. Yay. It was nice catching up with everyone. I've got to work on my answer to, "So, what have you been up to?" Because being black and saying staying out of trouble isn't really working for me. Well actually now that I think about it... It does. Since all we do is make race jokes. Meant to tell them about what DJ's kid told me the photo guy said. That would have been good times.

Even People in QSU noticed I was out. And I got to see my big little brother. He's so cute. Nekkid girl wasn't there... Bummer. But that didn't ruin my day. Jessie was there! And was hot as always. Jill was... Jill. Love her man. Some guy was ranting about his poor grade from his teacher on his essay to EVERYONE THAT WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR and Jill like... graded the grading. It was great. Bottom line. It was a media paper and the teacher graded it like it was a grammar class and didn't even catch it all. I wanted more time to talk to Jill, but O well... not talking so much is usually a good thing in my case. Oh and Alex and Jay was there! I like Jay and Alex. They're both cute and smart and... end.

Then my good buddies showed up! Paul and Maria and Eddie! Eddie gave me the best hug of the night. Paul let me give him the best hair sex and Maria was the only person to get a real update on me. I wish we hung out more. I should make that happen...

So then I head back over to QSU where I follow Paula(Not Paul) and this other cute girl Alex(Different Alex from above) who had been in and out of both QSU and A.S.I.A I was pretty curious as to who she was and long story short while listening to her first time tequila shot taking semi drunk ass talking about being centered everyone in asia left and moved to a different room locking my stuff in asia where I had to find David(whom I Love. Love Love Love this man. Who I think is gay. I get confused sometimes. Kinda like when a sleeping person twitches.)

So now after getting my stuff there's two places I can go.
QSU- To drink. Or Asia substitute- to drink. I picked asia substitute. And I knew damn well that yes it was getting late... going on 10 I believe. I had to take my medicine which did tell me to avoid liquor... Don't and avoid are different. And my Drs appointment is/ was today/tomorrow... awkward. When it came time to drink I thought everyone put in, but nope. One guy bought it all and they was charging everyone $5 to drink. So that made me a very sober Sammie all throughout a small game of never have I ever. Which I'd usually remain sober by the end of anyway once the participants of the game decide to move onto the more sexual side of things people do in life.

Interesting enough though these people knew how to keep a girl sipping because I found if I had a cup I'd be taking just as many drinks as the girl next to me. It was when she was about to get her hm... Maybe her 3rd or 4th cup or refill that she had to go potty and I took her place the game.

Because I'm so sleepy and so damn hungry... All I ate was chocolate syrup and crab cake this is gonna get a really bad summary for now.

Sooo other things that happened.
-Me and two friends waled to wallgreens for pads because she was on her monthly which saved us from being in the room when they got busted for having liquor. Too bad my stuff was in there.
-Waling to the room Paula was walking out and I did the kool-aid man back out cause she was saying "run run" So we did. It was fun. I dropped my ipod... Shoulda been in my bag.
-Forgot to mention that I took a shot before I left the room. Though I wasn't anywhere near buzzed nor tipsy.
-Found out that Angel killed himself. Fuckin loved that boy. Had a crush on him. I'll never look at spades in that school the same. Thank you David for calming me down. End.
-After the party got busted we stood outside hunter and I laughed at the drunk guy. Only now do I realize that they were prolly sober people laughing at us. Not nearly as much as I was laughing at him though.
-While waiting for Aida, Julianna with that British accent of hers. Until then I'd never realize I'd liked them so much. I told her to shush, but her drunken and had to be up early in the mornin self just kelp talking. Hugging me wasn't making things any better. I realized if I had taken 1 maybe 2 more shots earlier I would have told her what I told Paul about her and her accent.
-People started leaving. Like Julianna, Paul... others, but the plan waaaaas to walk some 40 something even blocks to k-town to drink... more!
So we did. I was fun. I had fun. Didn't drink much. Just tasted stuff. And I tasted a crab cake... Which I wanted to buy. But I'm glad I didn't because now my money must go towards new headphones.

And they want to do it again!
Today was a good day. I loved it. Broken headphones and all.

Clashes

I told you that I COULDN'T...
Its not that I told YOU.
But that I TOLD you.
Whether I can or can't isn't the point.
The POINT is, is that one minute I'll feel black.
No. I'm brown. Guess this is a harder point to get across when you actually are black.
Hmmm.
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Ellipsis... I love them.
They keep me writing.
And talking. Anywho. Back to my REASON.
One minute... And often I notice while talking to people who are trying to help me
I'll feel... lets say down... And I'll say something type negative.
It'll continue on until I notice me being negative and then I'll get extremely angry.
At myself of course for becoming this big ball of negative energy.
But sometimes I take my anger out on the person I'm talking to.
And...(dot dot dot) That makes me sad when I realize it. Then I have to say sorry.
When did it become so hard to keep things to myself?
I'd talk to someone who made it their job to listen to other people's crap simply so I didn't have to burden my friends with my crap.
I can't function while im spewing my feelings all over the place.
I'd rather not talk at all.
Is that an option. I will look into that.


I'm Sorry For Being A Negative Angry Spewing Ass. Let Me Know How I Can Help Please.
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