A past journal entry

I have a lot on my mind lately. They're causing me to have a lot of strange feelings and its kind of leaving me lost. And its weird when you feel strangely about something that most people don't know about or care about. Now I have to learn about the Asia-Africa relationships. I want to know how they are towards each other in general. Like I already figured that America has no friends , only allies. They mutual relationships with people and they wont help unless its it benefits them. I also figured out from talking to my sista that even if we stayed together as Pangea we would still be class divided. Maybe we'd be without all the slave stuff, but we would still end up somewhat like this. We'd all just be a lot closer. I mean there would be some big differences but the main class thing is given. We figured that one must win and one must lose. One must be rich and one below. Equality can not be. When people say they want something most of the time they don't mean it for it's full meaning. If people want to make everything equal we'll be running around with a bunch of retarded people because technology isn't advanced to make everyone smart. It's quiet sad really. For people to go around saying that my generation isn't smart people as a whole arent that bright either. But putting all that aside... Well not all of it but most of it. But the whole race thing is just enough to make me start to cry. I mean its like being.... no its just that. Your being taught something all your life and then you find out it was all based on something just to put you under. Or to be told that it actually doesn't exist. "Thats madd brazy" And these are just the really general things going through my mind. Wow I'm saying this...well writing this like this is an actual person. Well it is in a way. Is a book meaningless if nobody reads it? So all it is, is a message holder. A way to say words without actally saying them. I smile when I think of that.

Wow...Looking back on the things I wrote years ago makes me think... I used to think about these things? I guess I was involved in more things then. Now all I think about is the massive amount of work I didn't do..shoulda did and have to do. I haven't been having those conversations with my sistas that talk about life and society in some deeper meaning. All I've been doing is sitting for hours trying to do work, but not getting any done because I see how much I actually have to do.