Thoughts of the hopeless

So again here I am and i may or may not end up writing a poem about this. I'm not venting this time, but just writing how I feel... Somewhat. So today I had class. English and humanities and I went downtown. Everything was kool and I played handball. I felt alive and good once I got back into my flow. Its been so long since I've played and I was really shitty at first. But I kept playin and got better. Well started almost playin how I used to. So I see a few people I haven't seen in awhile and meet up with a friend. I asked him and he read to me the comments my professor left on my english paper and I don't know why, but I just got like... really sensitive over it. I usually feel so great after playing handball, but I don't remember feeling that usual high. Just the before sore tiredness right now. Things just feel so different. On my paper I don't know why, but all those comments that I couldn't read (kuz I suck at reading script) made me so damn touchy. I'm usually very open to critisim... well more open then I think I actually should b. Somebody says lets change this and I usually shrug my shoulders and say ok. I hate when ppl want me to expand on things. And I really don't know why what was said on that paper made me so angry kuz in all actuality I didn't even think it was understandable with me writing it at 4 in the morning and all. But I feel like I have to do the whole paper over... Like everything I've been doing so far was nothing. I didn't feel hollow but a different kind of empty and for a while all ambitions left me. It actually felt like I had a wall guarding the fact that I had none and didn't want to do anything and for a second that wall broke. Forcing me to feel that I actually don't want to do anything. I don't want to write in my future. Nor make music or games. Or even play them. I don't want to help people with their personal problems so I'm lost as to what I'm doing in college. I have no goal, but to just finish. It isn't like high school where I can just barely get by and finish it. I have to have a focus and whatnot now. I don't want to focus on anything. I don't even have a clue as to what to focus on. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of school and all the things it asks of me. Yes. Very tired. I don't care that I have it easy compared to most ppl anymore. Let me just be tired. Stop comparing me. If I wasn't so hellbent on not crying before anyone I would right now. I had always said that I just need to get through school so I can do what I need to do, but I don't even know what that is anymore. Its bad enough I can't focus when I have my incentive, but how will I do it when I have none. And another thing... I have almost always tried my best. I have always tried to make it seem like I didn't do as good as I could so doing better is not an option 4 me. I'm just not feeling things today... I have no idea why I feel like this, but I'm a bit scared.